


Intrinsic

by WordCollector



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2577176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordCollector/pseuds/WordCollector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months after Project Insight failed, Black Widow runs across Bucky Barnes. He is back to working for Hydra, and his memory is gone. Steve doesn't care. Maybe he should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I changed the summary, the other was too vague.

She wore a tight, short black dress and her red hair was curly. The tiny black purse in her right hand held the exclusive invitation to a presidential candidate‘ s dinner party. She had intel he was Hydra. She easily slid into the orbit of the smooth talking politician as he worked the room full of rich donors. The party was slow, the candidate boring, and definitely not Hydra. His balding chief adviser on the other hand, turns out to be Hydra to the core. After four hours and a few laced drinks she had gotten into his briefcase, found info on at least two Hydra locations, and plans for their candidate in the White House.

After a long evening, Natasha able to get all of the info to Nick Fury. SHIELD may officially be dissolved, but that didn’t mean it was gone. There was too much work to do. Fury began coordinating the removal of the locations, and Natasha was going to take a break for a few days. She had packed her gear, and was checking out of the hotel when she got another text from Fury. They needed her to take out one of the locations. The other agents were too few and too far away.

She had worked with some of the remaining trustworthy SHIELD agents, but she preferred to work alone. Sometimes it paid off to have help, sometimes they just got in the way.

Over six months had passed since the Hydra plot to take over the world had failed, and SHIELD was dissolved. Steve and Sam were slogging across the former Soviet Union on the trail of a piece of information on the Winter Soldier. After the Helicarrier crash, he had disappeared like the ghost he was supposed to be, and there had been no sign of him since. Natasha spent some time in Europe after she posted all of her info online, but eventually had moved back to the States. The whole six months she has been helping Fury ferret out hidden Hydra Bases. 

She had already read the intel on the location. It was a simple base that manufactured chemicals and equipment used for mind control. It housed no more than twenty scientists, ten security, and three command officers. She could take out thirty hydra goons in her sleep. Fury wanted the manufacturing process shut down, the machines destroyed, and the chemical process identified. The data was important, the Hydra goons weren’t. He would send cleanup agents to round up any fleeing Hydra.

The base sat deep in the colorful, autumn hued, forest. At the end of a long scenic dirt road sat a large, squat, aluminum walled factory painted slate gray. Her intel led her right to the front door, where she walked in as if she owned the place. Or, rather, she was escorted right in as if she were a nervous new scientist, and led right to her work station. 

The Hydra security at the gate checked her ID, and sent for her escort. Walking right in the front door was so much nicer than sneaking in. At her work station, they gave her passwords to systems she didn’t need, then left her alone to get to work. The passwords stolen from the briefcase allowed her to download the info she really needed. Once the chemical process was downloaded, she was ready to take out the machinery. Her intel also provided the locations for the Hydra weaponry in the facility. She would take them down with their own munitions. 

Natasha wore a white lab coat over a chunky black sweater, and tan slacks. Thick glasses, and her hair in a pony tail completed her disguise. Underneath her clothes she wore a specially designed body suit. Strolling along, she walked up the corridor where a small group of scientist were heading for the break room. 

She approached a tall blond woman with a lab coat. “Um, excuse me do you know where the bathroom is?” Natasha asked.

“Sure, right at the end of this hall turn left, it’s right there. You’re new. When did you start here?” The woman said smiling.

“Oh, just today.” Natasha smiled, waved, and walked away saying “Thanks.”

As she reached the end of the corridor, she saw two other people turn into the break room, and the hall was empty. Instead of turning left, she turned right and toward the armory. A large bushy eyebrowed man wearing black Kevlar and a sidearm turned the corner walking towards her in the corridor. “Why are you here?” he said. 

“Isn’t the ladies room up here?” She said looking timid.

“No, it’s right there behind you.” He said pointing “See the sign on the door. You eggheads better learn to read.” he grumbled while walking past her.

Natasha turned and laughed “Oh, sorry I guess I was a little turned around.” Then slipped into the restroom. It was empty inside, and she waited until there were no more footsteps in the hall.

Once the hall was clear, she slipped from the restroom into the armory. It held the typical racks of rifles, sidearms, and grenades. There was a marked cabinet that held the explosives, the lock on this cabinet took seconds to open. 

She removed her lab coat, slipped on a shoulder holster and two loaded handguns and extra preloaded magazines were stowed into ammo cases. She then slid the explosives and detonators into black duffel bags from the explosive cabinet.

Once she loaded everything up, she slid the lab coat back on and slipped out of the armory. It always gave her a kick to blow up the Hydra base with their own munitions. Poetic justice. Also, so much easier to walk right in the front door.

She walked right into the area where chemical production machines were in use. There were two operators running the machine, One quality control agent testing batches for purity, and one guard sitting staring at a newspaper crossword puzzle. Natasha grabbed a clipboard, rifled through some papers and left the room. The machine was big and looked pretty run of the mill. The clipboard showed that they were producing memory suppression drugs.

She slipped into next set of offices. It held engineers who were designing a large machine. Finally, at the end of the hall were a double set of doors that opened to a huge factory production room. This room was being used to build what the men in the other office were designing. It was a noisy room that housed big equipment to bend metal, torches to weld, and laser cutters to make shapes, and the operators to carry out the sweaty work. The room was well hidden, two sets of soundproof doors and insulated walls kept the noisy machines a secret from the outside world. This is where the majority of the personnel were working. A tall thin guard looked up when she entered, but Natasha purposefully went up to a production list on the wall and jotted down some notes onto a list. His eyes followed her out of the room, but he looked like he thought she was just another engineer gathering more data. She assessed how many machines were in the large production room and noted that there were only two entrances.

Natasha checked her watch and returned to the restroom, it was 6:00 pm. At 6:30 pm all of the workers in the building took a supper break. Everyone but the security was required to exit the work areas and hit the break area. She would plant the munitions then. She double checked the explosives, she had more than enough 

Finally, she could hear the personnel emptying out the offices and production lines. The hall was abuzz with conversations and people laughing, relieved to be off work for an hour. She waited until the three drug production workers turned the corner to return to the room. She walked right in and bent over the data sheets by the door while the guard barely looked up, still working his crossword. She brought the clipboard with her, and as she walked past him flicked a tazer disk onto his back. He jerked for a few seconds then was out.

A couple strategically located explosives and a detonator set with a timer and she was done. She now had to keep a schedule with the detonators, and work quickly to destroy the machine in production and download the data on what it was supposed to be.

She walked right into the large factory room and tazed the tall guard inside before he knew what hit him, then slid him behind his desk. Quickly she accessed the engineering data. While she waited for that to finish downloading, she set the explosives around the room. Right as the last download onto a thumb drive was finishing, the door opened and the tall bushy eyebrowed guard came into the room. 

He looked at her, “What the hell are you doing in here? Why aren’t you in the break room?”

“Oh, sorry, I just feel like I have so much to learn, I wanted to work straight through…” Natasha was saying, she could see he was looking for the other guard. “Oh, he said he had to use the bathroom, he would be right back…” Natasha was buying time, moving closer, to hit him with a tazer. 

The guard moved to pull his weapon and she threw the tazer disc, but this guy was fast. He dodged, and pulled his firearm. The round just missed her as she twisted, moving in. She hit him with the second tazer disc. He went down instantly. The gunfire alerted more guards and within seconds they began running into the room from both entrances. One door was directly in front of her. The other was at the far end of the large room full of machinery. She was going to have to shoot her way out of here. 

She pulled her gun and stepped behind a large metal press, firing at the guards who entered right in front of her. Kevlar vests couldn’t protect them from head shots, and both immediately went down. She ran for the second door but two guards were behind the metal press, approaching from the side. She turned and shot the first point blank, right through his black kevlar, the stocky blond guard tumbled backward. Right behind him was a tall dark haired goon wearing tinted glasses. The dark haired guard was suddenly on her. He was fast and knocked the weapon from her hand. They grappled and she knocked the gun from his hand, then she kicked him backward. He turned toward her pulling a knife, she kicked him back again. He stumbled back over the body of his shorter sidekick, dropping the knife. While he righted himself, Natasha grabbed a large wrench and swung, hitting him hard right in the temple. His glasses shattered and he went down in a spray of blood.

While they were fighting her time ran out. She felt the building shake as the first set of explosives went off. It would only be minutes before the set in this room went off. She tried to head for the door, but the first guard to be tazered was crawling around. Then, she saw the tall bushy eyebrowed guard was already up, and he was pissed. He grabbed his weapon to shoot, while Natasha pulled her remaining pistol. Suddenly she was slammed to the ground from behind. It was the guard she hit with the wrench. Her weapon had tumbled from her hand, and slid across the floor. She tried to fight him off, as he twisted and grabbed his blond buddy’s lost weapon. He then swung around and shot bushy eyebrows right between the eyes. Next, he shot the guard crawling on the floor scrambling to pull his weapon. 

As they lie on the ground an explosion went off on the other side of the room. The guard was partially on top of her and she tried to kick him away to escape. Instead, he threw himself on top of her, and covered her as the explosions went off around them. One of the large machines next to them blew apart throwing a big metal cover panel over them saving their lives. Luck saved their lives only to leave them to burn to death. The room was quickly becoming an inferno.

The bloodied guard shoved the panel off of them, and tried to pull Natasha to her feet, but she had twisted her ankle when he jumped on top of her. She couldn’t put any weight on it. Seeing that she couldn’t walk, the guard quickly threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, and ran for the exit. As he headed for the closest door, she knew that the other end of that corridor would already be engulfed in flames. “No! We have to go out the west door!” she yelled to him, while hitting him on the back. 

He stopped and turned towards the west door, she could feel him pause. It meant he needed to go to the door farthest from them, in a vast room where most of the machinery was already in flames and setting off secondary explosions. She felt him take a big breath and run. He dodged between the worst of the fires, twisting to keep Natasha from being burned. 

The flames were racing up the walls. Fire was nearing the exit door. The room was filling with hot smoke. Flaming debris littered the walkways. Natasha pulled her white lab coat over her mouth to breathe. She could feel the guard starting to have trouble breathing. The added strain of carrying her was starting to get to him. He was starting to slow. She didn’t think they could make it to the doors before the wall was engulfed. Suddenly a beam groaned and fell beside them bringing down a section of the ceiling and wall.

The guard stumbled on debris, pitching Natasha forward onto the floor and falling to his knees. He was coughing and trying to catch his breath now, crawling towards her. Through the smoke she saw a patch of sky. Part of the wall had collapsed. “There” she yelled and pointed. He looked up trying to cover his mouth with his thick jacket sleeve. He nodded, grabbed her by the arm and hauled her over his shoulder. Standing and coughing, he stumbled towards the opening.

Once they hit the treeline about ten yards from the building, the guard stumbled to his knees again, and dumped Natasha on the ground. They could still feel the intense heat from the building, and the smoke pouring from the hole. She could see Hydra in lab coats stumbling from the main entrance in the distance. They looked confused and disoriented. Natasha knew she needed to get out of the area, before Hydra or the authorities found her. 

She looked over at the guard who rescued her. Head sagging, he kept coughing into the ground, as he rested on his hands and knees in the dirt. His whole body was covered in black soot, he had charred burns on his Kevlar jacket, and parts of his pants were smoldering. His hands were saved from the fire by his leather gloves. The right side of his face was covered in blood, soot, and sweat. His short dark hair was streaked with more blood, and matted with sweat. The sweat made muddy streaks at his temples in the black soot. The smoke from the fire was billowing into the sky. Natasha reached over and pulled a blade from the guard’s boot, then began to tear strips from her singed lab coat to bind a cut on her leg. He groggily looked over at her to watch her work. The area around his right eye was swollen, she could see his pupils were not the same. He had a concussion. 

His confusion had saved her life in the factory, but she needed to get away now. He still didn’t realize they were not on the same side. She had his blade. It would be quick and easy to end this, but he saved her life, even if it was unintentional. She could at least let him live. 

She had been saved from burns by the specially made body suit she wore. It was designed for a girl who used explosives regularly.

After her wound was bound, she levered herself up using a tree, then confirmed she couldn’t put any weight on the ankle. She would need to find a branch and make a crutch.

The guard stood and put his arm around her to support her, he turned her towards the main entrance and the rest of the Hydra agents.

“Wait, what if one of them did this? How do we know it’s safe?” she said trying to look scared.

He just coughed some more, and nodded “Right” his voice was rough from the smoke. “If the location is compromised, we relocate to extraction point Alpha..” He said while nodding and coughing.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.” she said also nodding along with him, “When I came in today I saw a hunter parked in the woods. We could use his truck, it was right over there.” She said pointing. If he could get her to the truck, she could make her escape.

They turned and trudged towards the vehicle. Natasha herself left it there for this very purpose. A nondescript older blue pickup truck with a gun rack in the back. It had a first aid kit and everything a good outdoors-man would need for a stay in the woods, including some rope to tie someone if needed.

It took about twenty-five minutes of walking through wooded forest until they came upon the truck. It had been parked with the key hidden in a box in the wheel well, behind the front tire. Neither of them spoke during the walk, both concentrating on where to put their feet. As Natasha leaned on the truck with one hand and hopped towards the key, she looked back at the guard. He leaned his back on the truck, and had his hands on his knees. His face was sweaty, as he reached up to wipe the sweat from his forehead, she saw his hand was shaking. 

She was going to get in the truck and leave him in the woods. She knew he probably wouldn’t make it through the night, alone in the cold woods. He looked too tired to walk back to the Hydra base, even if he knew what direction to walk. She would take him prisoner. It would be inconvenient in her condition, but she had rope. 

As she pretended to ‘find’ the key and unlocked the truck, he slid down onto his rear and was picking at his pants above his boot line on his calf. She noticed his shaky fingers were coming away bloodied. He was pulling small bits of shrapnel from his leg.

“Hey, get in. We can get some distance on this fiasco, then take a look at that.” She said, while climbing onto the driver side of the bench seat. He looked up and dragged himself to his feet, then slid into the passenger side. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes as she aimed the truck down the dirt road. She knew where she was going. This road would take them to a few more off the beaten trails, through the forest, then to a cabin in the woods. It wasn’t her original plan out of here. She had a nice vehicle down the road, on the east side of the Hydra base, but that area was compromised. She hadn’t expected to twist her ankle, or still be in the building when the explosions started. 

As she drove down the dirt road, she saw storm clouds coming in, it had started to rain off and on and turn cold. The thick Autumn leaves were lit in bright patches by the setting sun, mixed with long dark areas as the clouds gathered overhead.

Approaching the cabin, she pulled off the road and up the long dirt driveway. Reaching behind the seat for a first aid kit, she gently put her hand on the guard’s shoulder. He didn’t respond, and she gently shook “Hey” she said quietly. His eyes fluttered open, and looked around. He looked confused. “Hey it’s just me.” she said. “We stopped for the night, lets get inside before it’s too dark to see anything.”

Natasha went inside first, hopping on one foot and using a flashlight from the truck to check the inside of the one room cabin. It smelled dusty and one of the window panes on a back window was cracked. A couch, empty shelves, and a table with one whole chair and a broken chair was all the furniture in the cabin. The inside was dark, and there was no electricity and the only heat was the ancient stone fireplace. This was going to be a long night. 

After she looked around, she turned to see him leaning in the doorway, he had the first aid kit under his arm and a duffel bag at his feet. “What’s in the bag? Is that from the truck?” she asked, as if she didn’t know the answer to both questions.

He limped into the room, after picking up the bag and throwing it onto the table along with the first aid kit. As he walked past he said, “You can look through that, I’ll start a fire.”

“Check the flue for birds, they clog up the chimney and we don’t need to get smoked out of here too.” She said.

He leaned into the fireplace and looked up the chimney. “How do you know if it’s clogged?” he asked.

She had unzipped the bag and was rummaging through it, when she looked up, “Actually, I don’t know.” she said shrugging “I guess we’ll have to find out if the room gets smoky.”

He stood and walked over to the back door, shouldering it open and looking out. Under a pile of fall leaves, was a small stack of firewood next to the door. He carried a half dozen or more logs to the fireplace. Then he knelt in front of the fireplace arranging the logs. Natasha threw him a lighter, and the old wood caught without kindling being added. He sat back on the floor in front of the fire, leaning back on the musty couch.

Natasha limped to the front door and closed it, the room suddenly became really dark. Grabbing the first aid kit, she brought over the flashlight, and lowered herself down next to the guard. She opened the kit and looked through it. “Hey can you tell what hurts the most? Should I start with the cut on your head or is the stuff in your legs worse?” 

“We can just wrap the head later I guess, but my legs are pretty messed up. I have something in here” he tried to twist his leg around so she could see the back of his calf. She could see the wet bloody areas on his left calf. He pulled off his right glove, while she tried to find gauze and scissors in the kit. Before she found the scissors he was pulling a tiny piece of metal from his calf with a hiss. It began to bleed more. 

“Wait… Wait for me to cut the pant leg.” she said while was pulling the scissors out.

“Unless you have another pair of pants in there, you aren’t cutting anything.” He said.

She sighed, “Get your boots off, and pull off your pants at least. We need to get this clean.”

He huffed and began unstrapping and unlacing his boots. He then pulled them off, followed by the pants, leaving his black Kevlar jacket and one glove. He settled back in his boxers and socks. The room was getting colder and he shivered as she used the flashlight to pull out a half dozen or so small pieces out of the back of his legs, the largest was the size of a pea. He was lucky he wasn’t hit with anything larger. She pushed down his socks. Luckily the boots stopped the small shrapnel, and he didn’t have any below the sock line.

As she cleaned the wounds, his face was painted in harsh black shadows produced by the fire. His blue eyes reflected the flickering light and watched her as she worked. 

“So, my name is Natalie, Natalie Rushman. Usually, I like to know a guy’s name before he takes his pants off.” Natasha said.

His face turned away and he looked around the room like he was looking for something.

“I don’t..I can’t remember.” he said quietly looking into the fire, “everything has been a little confused since the factory blew.” 

She stopped working and looked up slightly relieved, but pretending to look concerned. “Wow. So you don’t remember anything?” she asked.

“No, I think I remember some stuff, maybe. I remembered we had someplace to meet if things went sour. But, I’m not really sure where it is.” he said and shrugged.

“But, no name?” She said, and he looked down and shivered again.

She finished with the back of his calves. “Stand up a second.” she said and checked the rest of his legs, but he didn’t have any injuries above the knee. The metal panel that saved their lives, had covered him above the knee. She tapped his leg and said “Put your pants back on. I’m done.” He slid them on and sat to pull on his boots. Natasha hopped up, and went to the duffel bags to grab them a couple of bottles of water. 

She handed him one and drank the other. As he was drinking, she explained “I’m going to check your head, it looks like it stopped bleeding, but you are a mess, it needs to be cleaned.”

She knelt next to him aiming the flashlight at the wound at his right temple, “I need you to hold the flashlight so I can see.” 

“Okay.” he said, and set down his water. 

He took the flashlight with his left hand, and held it aimed steadily at his head. But the angle was wrong, he was creating more shadows than helping. 

She took the flashlight from him and held it over his head. “Here, hold it here.” She said. He tried to get it with his left hand but the angle was awkward. She sighed “Switch hands.” His eyes flicked up to her face. “Use your other hand. You’re blocking my light” she explained.

His right hand came up but it shook when he took the light, he couldn’t keep it aimed at the right spot. She took the light back from him, frowning. “Did you hurt your arm?” she said.

“No. I don’t think so. It‘s just a little shaky. I don’t know why.” He said softly, looking away.

“It didn’t shake before. You used it pretty well at the factory.” she said frowning.

He shivered again, “I don’t know.” he said.

“Maybe you’re cold” she said. Taking the flashlight, she positioned it on the seat of the couch, and made him angle his head into the light. The area around cut was bruised and swollen. It had stopped bleeding, possibly before all of the soot and smoke. She couldn’t be sure and tried to clean away the grime around it, before cleaning the wound itself. He had one heck of a knot and another bruise under his eye that she didn’t think came from the wrench. Maybe he got that when he hit the ground.

As she worked on his temple, she kept looking at his eyes which were focused on the fire. They looked familiar, similar to someone she knew maybe, or maybe she had come across him on another mission. Before she put the gauze and bandage on, she needed to clean up his face. This way he wouldn’t get the dressing wet later. She reached over to what was left of her lab coat and wet some of the inside with water from her bottle. 

“I’m going to wipe your face before I put the gauze on. Get some of the soot off.” She said while wiping away the thick black soot. He closed his eyes as she worked. His left side seemed unhurt, and when she got most of the grime off, she felt a chill. Her hand froze while wiping his face. She knew who he was. He opened his eyes and looked up when she froze, and she forced her hand to keep moving. Quickly cleaning him up, and getting the gauze on. She made him hold the gauze over the wound, while she stuck the bandage over top. It didn’t need a pressure bandage since most of the bleeding had stopped before she cleaned it. It was bleeding again because she reopened it to get the soot out. Professional doctors would have to look at it tomorrow. She just needed to get him there. 

She stood up to get the blanket from the duffel bag. As she handed it to him he asked “Shouldn’t we look at your leg?”

“Yeah, I’m going to rebind it. You should wrap up in the blanket, you’re still shivering.” She said.

“I can’t take this, I have a jacket on. Aren’t you cold?” He said, refusing the blanket by pushing it away frowning.

She was cold, and she could feel herself shiver a little too, but she said “Your pupils are still uneven. You have a concussion. You’ve lost a lot of blood, that’s why you keep shaking. You need to stay warm so you don’t go into shock.” Then she pushed the blanket at him again more firmly. 

His face softened and he looked a little scared “Oh. Okay, Thanks.” he said and took the blanket, draping it over his shoulders and tucking it around his legs. 

They sat side by side and stared into the fire for a while. Suddenly Natasha had a thought “Don’t you have an ID badge? That would have your name.” 

“No.” he said quietly shaking his head. “They told me Hydra’s Assets don’t need them”

They sat in silence again when Natasha said “We should give you a name. Saying ‘Hey you’ is just weird.” Then looking over at him “What name sounds right?”

He just shrugged his shoulders. She sighed, “Well, pick one, John, Bill, Harry,..”

“Steve” he quietly said, still staring at the fire.

She hoped he didn’t hear her gasp, but he probably did. “I knew a Steve” she said trying to play it off. “You don’t look much like him.”

He looked over at her and shrugged “You said pick a name. I picked. If you don’t like it, then you pick one, I don’t care” he sounded angry. 

Suddenly he said “I’m gonna get some sleep“, and slid down onto his side.  
He shifted trying to get comfortable without kicking her. Still occasionally shivering, he settled in and closed his eyes, even though the blanket was twisted and only covered half his legs. 

“Let me fix this” she said and pulled the blanket straighter, and more evenly over his legs, then tucked it around him. He just lie there, occasionally glancing at her, then closing his eyes again as she finished. She gave him a gentle nudge, “move up some” He shifted and began to sit up. “No. Slide forward some.” Natasha wedged herself between him and the couch, and lie down. 

She knew keeping warm by a fire was a losing game. You stayed warm on one side, and frozen on the other. Hopefully the room could hold some heat, but this room was more or less just a roof over their heads. It felt cold inside, but she knew it was probably much colder outside. As she settled in, he rolled in place and lifted the blanket, draping it over both of them, then rolled back to face the fire. He didn’t say anything. 

She murmured “Thanks” and settled in. 

She knew she wouldn’t sleep, but she could tell from his slowed breathing, he was drifting off. He would occasionally shiver and half wake himself. Finally, close to midnight he began to twitch and say half words, holding an unintelligible one sided conversation. When he finally stopped, he shivered again, this time more forcefully, and continuously. She started to worry, and moved from her warm spot to add wood to the fire. It had burned down and wasn’t providing as much heat as it could. 

She hung her sooty damp lab coat to dry by the fire, wishing she had done it earlier. When she had a few more logs on, and the fire was really blazing, she settled back into her spot. He was still asleep and shivering. She moved close, laying against his back, hoping to warm him. She heard the fire pop and shift, and leaned up on one elbow to watch to make sure the blanket didn’t catch fire from a hot ember. This whole place would definitely go up much faster than the factory they just escaped.

Her stomach growled. She had missed dinner, and was hungry. There were a few granola bars in the pack, but she was going to save them for breakfast when they would need to have energy to be on the move. Plus, she didn’t feel like moving from her warm spot.

Her stomach growled more loudly, and he turned and mumbled something to her. She laughed out loud at the ridiculousness that he was talking to her stomach. 

His eyes cracked open at that. He shuddered and mumbled “What?” 

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.” she said quietly. He slept through any of the other noises her stomach produced. Only having one more conversation in his sleep right before dawn. She wondered what he was saying, but dreams are a funny thing. It might make sense, or be complete nonsense, no one would ever know. 

The sun had begun to lighten the sky, but the inside of the cabin stayed dark. Natasha had gotten up again to add more wood to the fire. She now stared out the window watching the swirling gray clouds in the dark blue sky of dawn. There was frost on the tall weeds, and it was cold. She had retrieved the torn lab coat during the night and wore it as a thin extra layer, pulling it tight around her, glad for any protection from the cold.

She could hear him roll over and sit up. Stretching and popping his back from an uncomfortable night on a hard floor. A yawn was followed by another bout of coughing. After rubbing his eyes and prodding the bump on his head, he stood while running his hands through his filthy short hair, making it stick up in dark clumps near the bandage. He held out the blanket, offering it to her as she stood next to the window. She just raised an eyebrow at him as his hand shook, “put it back on.” she said.

He just shrugged and draped it over his shoulders again. Turning, he moved toward the duffel bag, rummaging around for the bars he must have seen last night. Finally, he pulled the box out and gave her three, pocketing his three in an empty ammo pouch at his hip. 

Then he began packing up the duffel. “They will expect us at the extraction point soon, if we’re not there they’re gonna be ticked.” He looked up sheepishly “You, Uh, You don’t happen to remember it’s coordinates do you?” 

Suddenly they could hear the droning of an engine. Natasha tried to hurry him out into the truck. But he kept standing in the middle of the driveway, staring down the road, like he was waiting for a friend, or a rescue. 

“Get in!” she yelled. He looked at her confused, then back at the approaching black vehicles. Two SUV’s approached, she guessed both Hydra by the looks of them. 

As they kicked up dust and swerved into the drive, the vehicles jerked to a stop blocking the pickup truck in place. The teams dismounted quickly, four men per vehicle, armed with rifles and wearing black kevlar. Red Hydra logos emblazoned their shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

Two Hydra ‘Quick Response Force’ teams jumped from the vehicles as soon as they stopped. Natasha could tell they were not run of the mill Hydra goons. Instead, they were like SHIELD’s Strike teams, trained for missions that needed a fast response with highly qualified soldiers.

These troops came from another Hydra location specifically to get the ‘Asset‘. Natasha needed to think her way out of this carefully. She could see a stocky bald man was calling the shots. He was the Team Leader. Quickly and efficiently they fanned out, securing the area.

The Team Leader and two goons stayed behind with the vehicles, Natasha, and ‘Steve’.

Their rifles sagged as the team looked from ‘Steve’ to Natasha and back. She could see them assume she was just a Hydra scientist, lost after the fire.

A big blond goon behind them whistled. “You can give a guy all of the memory blocking pills in the world, some things are just instinctual.” he said while laughing.

The Team Leader was checking a com unit and said “Told ya a million times, Dan. Handsome face and a girl will jump in the sack with him no matter how fucked up his brain is.” Then he moved forward and grabbed the filthy ‘Steve’ by the back of the neck and tipped his head down towards him. Looking him over he said, “Crap. Took a good blow to the head too. Lets get you two in the truck.” The stocky goon released ‘Steve’ and he straightened, looking blankly around. 

Big Dan smirked, “Chicks get off on that stuff, more fucked up the guy is, the better. That smack in the head was just icing on the cake” 

Natasha just bided her time. They weren’t even talking like they saw her as a person, let alone a threat. She just wondered how ‘Steve’ would react when she took down the team. 

Curious, Natasha asked “Are you saying he is ON the memory suppression drug we were making?” she said incredulously pointing at ‘Steve’. 

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Hon. No long term relationships here. He won’t remember you once we get him back. They have a specific cocktail to knock out recent memories, then long term boosters. They won‘t want him to remember wandering off. “He smirked. “Cherish your memories of your night in the cabin. He wont know you from Adam in the morning.” the Team Leader said. All of the other agents laughed. Except ‘Steve’ who looked embarrassed and stared at the ground. 

While the Hydra goons were still laughing, the Team Leader started giving orders. “Ron, Big Dan, you stay here with these two Love Birds. The rest of you, fan out, check the grounds and cabin. Clear out all evidence anyone was here. We mount up in fifteen.” Then he turned to Natasha and ‘Steve’, “You two sure did end up out in the boonies.”

Big Dan started around the truck, “Well, Chief, they can’t pump him full of amnesia pills and not expect him to get lost. Who’s idea is it to have him working anyways.”

The Chief was looking at ‘Steve’ taking in the bloody hair, soot covered burnt clothes. “It’s no big deal, he didn’t wander too far. This guy is an ‘Asset’. They spent a lot of time and money on him. We gotta get our money’s worth, right? He’s been cleared for ‘light duty with supervision‘.”

Dan laughed “I guess his ‘supervision’ just went up in flames back there.”

“Yeah, some SHIELD wannabe sure did a number on those guys. They’re gonna have to start over on a lotta that stuff.” Then he looked at Natasha, “Hey hon, I hope you have the formula for his meds memorized and can whip up another batch, looks like Romeo is gonna shake apart soon.”

Natasha had been trying to keep an eye out for a point when the rest of the team had moved a suitable distance away to make her break. Now that he mentioned it, she saw what the Chief was saying. ‘Steve’ was leaning back on the side of the truck with his hands under his armpits and he was practically vibrating. He looked on the verge of collapse. This was her move.

“Wow, you’re right, let’s get him inside.” she said moving towards ‘Steve’ and opening the car door. Once she was right behind Big Dan she grabbed his sidearm. In seconds, she shot Dan, the Chief, and Ron, while using Dan as a shield. She pushed ‘Steve’ into the passenger seat of the vehicle as the five other Hydra goons turned at the sound. Natasha had picked up Dan’s rifle and in less than a minute all of Hydra goons were all eliminated.

Grabbing the keys from the Chief’s body, Natasha jumped into the driver seat. When she looked up, ‘Steve’ had a pistol leveled at her. He held it in his left hand which swayed, but didn’t shake like his right. 

“Who are you?” he said.

“My name is Natasha Romanoff. Does that mean anything to you?” she said keeping her hands where he can see them. He just looked at her.

“Why did you kill them?” His hand swayed. She knew that at this range it would be impossible for him to miss her.

“Hydra are bad people.” She said firmly “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, we need to get you somewhere safe James before more of them come back.”

“Hydra brings order.” He growled “Did you blow up the factory?” he raised the gun and held out, aimed right at her forehead.

She began to sweat trying to come up with a response that wouldn‘t set him off. Her eyes searched his expression, trying to see what he was thinking. He looked away, he knew the answer. Dropping his hand, he got out of the vehicle. He walked around and crouched by the Chief, looking into his face. 

She wasn’t going to leave him. “James,” She begged “Please James, get into the truck, I can explain more later.”

When he looked up at her he had tears in his eyes. “I remember, I worked with the Chief two days ago, we were giving refresher training with the M-60, and sniper rifles. He was a really good shot for someone his age. He bought me a coke afterwards. Said he appreciated me helping train his team.” he let out a small choked sob, looking down. 

“I’m sorry James. Please, can we..”

“No. I told you it’s Steve. You said I got to pick. You can’t just change my name. Not after you did this.”

“I didn’t name you James, your parents did.” she said moving closer, to take the gun from him. The memory drugs wearing off must be making him more confused and agitated, she remembered part of the cocktail included, something to keep the subject calm. Memory loss causes panic in most people.

Once she was close enough, she quickly snatched the gun from him. Just as quickly he sat back and pulled another, possibly from one of the bodies. “Drop the weapon and get in the vehicle.” she yelled.

The direct command worked. He froze and looked up. His hand loosened on the weapon, and his arm dropped. The weapon in his hand rested on the chief’s chest. The Chief’s lifeless eyes staring at the sky.

“James, I want to get you somewhere safe.” Natasha started to say.

“Safe?” He looked confused. “Hydra is everywhere. Nowhere else is safe.” His eyes roamed the lifeless bodies in front of him, then over the ones in his field. “You should go. There’s a tracking device inside me. Take the pickup truck. They’ll never know you were here. They’ll think I did this.” he said waving his shaking right hand, gesturing to the bodies. 

Firmly and slowly she said “Get in the vehicle.”

He sighed, picked up the gun and she could read his actions. As the weapon moved towards his temple, she brought the butt of the pistol down on the back of his head.

Kicking the pistol away, she scrambled and began to drag him into the nearest SUV. She grabbed four sets of handcuffs from one of the bodies and began to secure James in the back seat. As she cuffed his feet and wrists, she could feel the tremors that ran through him. 

This time, she knew he wasn’t just cold, or in shock. He was going through withdrawals from the Hydra drug. The metal arm was so solid and hard to move, she wondered why she hadn’t noticed it before. Then she bound his upper arms with two sets of handcuffs linked together. Hopefully, if they brought these to restrain the ‘Asset’ they would be strong enough.

Soon they zoomed down the road, bumping along, and heading for the highway. If he had a tracking device, evasion was not the issue, she needed speed. She had to get him to safety quickly. The only place for this would be Avengers Tower.

She kept glancing into the back seat as she drove, beginning to get worried. It had been over a half hour, and he was still unconscious and unmoving. She was on the highway now, hours from New York. Earlier on the dirt roads it was hard to tell if he had tried to move with the motion of the bouncing vehicle. Now she could see he hadn’t stirred. He wasn’t coming around, and it worried her. 

She definitely didn’t want to kill him, or even hurt him. But, if she hadn’t disarmed him, he would definitely be dead now. She could see how confused he was. Hopefully it was the withdrawals doing a number on his emotional state. Add in the fact that he actually remembered those men. He didn’t seem to remember much, and she just killed the few men he did remember. She probably wouldn’t be his favorite person when he woke up.

As time wore on, she just kept praying for him to wake soon, to just move a little bit. He had stopped shaking, and it was unnerving. She kept glancing back more frequently, hoping that if something was wrong she would see it. After a while she got what she wished for. 

He began to heave, and convulse. His stomach was empty, but it was trying to vomit anyways. She swerved and pulled off the side of the highway onto the grass. Nearby, tractor trailers zoomed by one after another, rocking the SUV with each passing truck. She jumped out and ran to the back. Pulling the door open, he moaned and heaved again. His eyes were screwed up tight. She was guessing this was the effect of repeated blows to the head. But then again, it could be the withdrawals, it wasn’t this guys day.

She put her hand on his back, his neck was cold and clammy. 

He moaned again groaning “Get it off…. ” before he began to heave again. After the first few times nothing was coming up, but that didn’t stop his body from trying. She tried to keep him on his side and his arm felt hot through the sleeve. 

Never opening his eyes, he mumbled “Off. Get it off. ..Eight hour maximum safe utilization. Damage begins after ten…” then he began to heave again.

“What?” she said confused, wondering if he was delirious. Or, could this be a trick to get the handcuffs off.

He opened his eyes looked up at her with sweat running down his cold pale face. There was fear in his eyes. His voice was faint. “Self cooling capabilities minimal, when in non venting situation.” He began to gasp and choke.

“Speak English!” she yelled.

He moaned “It’s too hot.. Get it off..” 

She cut him off “What? Get what off?” 

He faced away heaving toward the foot-well again. When she tried to steady him so he didn’t roll into the foot-well himself, his arm was almost too hot to grab through the heavy jacket. The jacket she thought. When they fought in DC his arm was uncovered. It was probably overheating, burning him. She tried to find the fastenings. When she saw how many there were, she just pulled a knife, but the thick Kevlar jacket was meant to withstand blades. The area around the metal arm seemed thinner, than the rest of the jacket, But she couldn’t find a seam to cut. 

Finally, she grabbed the keys to the handcuffs and uncuffed the two on his left side, leaving the others dangling from his wrist and arm. She pulled him into a sitting position, while he continued to heave.

“Help me get it off” she ordered.

He looked disoriented, miserable, and shivery as he tipped his head forward to lean against the seat in front of him. But his trembling hands came up and began to pull at the fastenings. Once she realized how the jacket secured, she pushed his hands away. She could feel his body jerk again, and she pushed his chin to the right 

“Vomit that way.” she said, and he tried to comply, facing away from her as she worked. His hands had stopped trying to unfasten the jacket, but lifted to grip the seat in front of him, he was getting in the way. She pushed at his left arm to get him to lower it again. It was like pushing at stone. He didn’t seem to register her pushing.

“Hey, move your arm. You’re in the way.” she said, and he just dropped it into his lap. Finally, she unhooked the last strap. This jacket sure wasn’t made for easy removal. He had stopped heaving and was watching her with a dazed expression, and glassy eyes.

She pushed the jacket off his shoulder, a wave of heat came from the arm. It was almost too hot to touch. It must be killing him. His sleeve was tangled in his glove. She pulled the jacket back on, got the glove off, then pulled the sleeve off. He just leaned the top of his head against the seat in front of him, breathing through his nose in shuddery breaths, constantly swallowing, trying to fight the nausea. His metal arm was limp in her grasp. 

When she had pulled off the glove, there was another fingerless glove underneath. She now began to try to peel this one off too, and he tugged his hand away.

“No” he mumbled, and when she looked at him he was shaking his head. He tried to speak without opening his mouth too much, “On. That stays on.” 

“Okay, Okay. Glove under the glove, stays.” she said pulling the coat over his shoulder. 

After she was able to get the coat off of his left side, he sighed in relief. 

“Is there a way to cool this thing faster?” She asked, when suddenly the panels slid open and steam seemed to be escaping from the upper arm. 

“Did you do that?” she asked, leaning back from the hot air coming from his arm.

“No, it just does it.” He mumbled. “It’s been trying to vent since this morning.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked

He just shrugged his shoulder, then after a few minutes, “I didn’t want to scare you. I’m not…I’m not…It’s just the arm.” he stammered.

“Hey, It’s Okay, I already knew.” she reached out and touched his clammy cold forehead. Heat exhaustion. Not concussion. She had been wrong on every count. He was suffering from heat exhaustion in the back of the car. She jumped into the front to see if there was anything for him to drink. In the cup holders, were two bottles with a little left in each, one soda and one water, she grabbed them and put the water up to his lips. 

“Drink this.” She said. 

He took a sip, spit it right back out, and pushed it away coughing. “That. Was. Not. Water.” he gasped. 

Could she make things worse? She handed him the soda, taking a sniff first. Hopefully, it was just pepsi. He didn’t spit it out, that was a good sign. She then eased him back in “Lie down.” She said, getting his legs in and closing the door. 

She started the truck, put the a/c on full blast and peeled out heading for the next exit. At the nearest gas station, she pulled up next to the door, hobbled inside and bought a two six-packs of water. Room temperature. Then she carried it to him outside. 

“Here drink this” she said climbing into the back to help him drink. He looked dubiously at the water. Then began to chug one down. She pulled the bottle away as the water came back up, she barely made it out of the way herself. Thankfully most hit the asphalt outside the car. “Sip at it. But keep drinking. Eventually it will stay down.”

He had pulled the coat the rest of the way off and looked pale and clammy, in his sweaty black t-shirt. He still had a pair of handcuffs dangling from his right wrist. The ones from his upper arm, were thrown on top of the coat. His legs were still bound. She handed him the key to the handcuffs and hopped back into the store. She bought more water, and a roll of paper towels, and put it in the foot-well of the passenger seat. Then threw the floor mats from the back into the dumpster outside the gas station. There wasn’t much on them, since there wasn’t much in him, but the smell wouldn’t have been fun for either of them.

As she hopped back into the drivers seat she asked, “You wanna ride up front? Or, do you need to lie down?”

“I’ll stay here for a while.” He said, as he slid back down to lie on his back. 

She twisted around, and handed him a bag. “Here, paper towels to clean up. And a straw. Keep sipping the water, even when you lie down.”

As she drove away, he began to unwrap the paper towels. As he was moving around in the back, she asked over her shoulder “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning up?” He said.

“Cleaning up what? I threw the mats away.” she asked, squinting into the rearview mirror as she passed a cop.

“I, I don’t know. You said to clean up.” he mumbled, leaning forward to rest against the back of her seat.

“I meant if you need to clean yourself up. Just rest and drink for now.” she couldn’t see him behind her seat. She felt him resettle. After a while, he lie down across the seats, using his coat as a pillow. His legs were twisted awkwardly into the foot-well behind her seat. The bottle rested loosely in his hand. “Keep drinking” she reminded him. 

His metal arm wasn’t steaming, and had closed the panels. Hopefully the A/C had cooled it enough so that it wasn’t cooking him anymore. He had it draped over his head under the window. It was still too hot to comfortably have resting on his stomach, especially when feeling the effects of Heat exhaustion.

She kept driving, and he kept dozing. They needed to hurry, there would only be so long before Hydra came for him. Hydra could be waiting to see where he would go, but why would they care?

While she drove she went over the facts she knew. First, she knew he had a tracking device. There would also be one in the vehicle. But did they know Natasha was with him? Or was he just an escaped asset to be collected at the earliest convenience. She still wasn’t sure if he would try to go back to Hydra or not. That was a key piece of information. A game changing fact.

She followed the highway towards a small airport. If Hydra was just biding their time, logically they should make a move as he approached the airport. As she neared the airport she pulled out the phone she appropriated from the cashier at the gas station. Dialing Avengers Tower, she knew Tony usually kept a plane at this airport. Hopefully it was here. The Tower confirmed the jet would be ready for take off when they arrived. 

Pulling up next to a jet trimmed in gold and red, she leaned into the back to wake him. “Hey, Our ride is ready.” The water bottle in his right hand had dropped when he fell asleep, and now he twitched his hand thinking it was still there. He looked around confused. There was a small pile of empty bottles in the foot-well next to him. His color looked a lot better. He sat up and looked around, then his eyebrows came together. 

“I gotta take a leak.” he said, scanning the area behind the hanger, and getting out of the truck. 

She nodded towards the plane. “There is a bathroom inside, come on.” 

He nodded and they quickly boarded the plane. His full bladder took priority over any questions he would have asked, and he went straight into the bathroom. When he came out, he had washed his face, and tried to quickly clean up. His black T-shirt had salty gray drying patches around the neck and armpits, and his face was still bruised, but he looked a lot better. Natasha guessed she probably looked a mess. She hadn’t thought about it in a while. He stood in the doorway to the bathroom now, unsure of what he was supposed to do. 

She watched out the window, “We’re going to take off, you should take a seat.” 

He looked at Natasha “Who are you? Why do you have a jet?” 

She just laughed “How many types of aircraft are you able to fly?” 

“Why?” He looked towards the cockpit area, “Do you need me to fly this one?”

A stewardess came from the cockpit area with a drink for Natasha and water for him. Natasha’s drink was definitely not water. “Oh, you’re a pilot.” she said to James. “It’s always good to have people on board who know how to fly.” she said smiling at him. “We’re ready to take off, please take your seat” she said gesturing towards a seat. He looked a little unnerved by polite conversation, but the stewardess just continued. “Do you fly for pleasure, professionally, or are you Military?”

As he sat he uncomfortably, he looked from her to Natasha and back. The stewardess was really pretty, and didn’t even seem to notice his shiny metal arm. She acted as if she saw them every day. “I’m guessing military.” she continued as if his lack of an answer was part of the game. Then as the plane taxied down the runway and lifted into the air, she leaned forward and touched his star on his shoulder saying “Is this your unit patch?”

James jumped to his feet and took a step back, knocking over the drinks on the table. “Oh, I’ll get you another” she said and hurried away.

Natasha had saved her drink before it hit the floor, it barely spilled a drop. “Here,” she said handing it to him. “looks like you could use something stronger than water.” She gestured towards his seat “Come on, sit back down.”

The stewardess returned with more water, and as she set it on the table, reading her nametag, Natasha said to her, “Ruby, do you think you could give us some time, we have some things to discuss.”

“Of Course. I will be up in the galley if you need me.” Ruby said politely and went back up towards the front and closed the door. 

James was standing, still holding the drink as she clicked the door closed. Natasha lifted an eyebrow at him, and he sat, sniffing at the drink. “What is this? Whiskey?”

“That, is some of Stark’s very expensive cognac.” she said smiling “Try it.”

He sniffed again, sipped, shrugged, and handed it back to her. “It tastes strange.” he said and drank the water. He looked a lot better for a guy who had been through the ringer since yesterday. He definitely recovered fast.

“I have to use the powder room” she said, and headed for the bathroom, also. He couldn’t go anywhere, and the stewardess was out of danger. Or, he was out of danger from Ruby, more likely. She knew he could pilot the plane if he really wanted to, but he seemed not to mind going along for the ride. 

She also cleaned up while in the bathroom. Before she went into the bathroom she borrowed Ruby’s extra top and slacks. Ruby was more than willing to help, and said she hoped she didn’t offend James with her questions. Natasha reassured Ruby that he was just not ready to talk about it yet. Ruby said she understood, her brother was an Iraq vet.

The clothes were a little big, but Natasha made it work. When she came out, James was staring out the window. As he turned, his eyes widened, and he stood. 

“Going somewhere?” she asked.

“Oh. Sorry. I guess guys don’t stand when a lady enters the room. I don’t know why I ..” he trailed off.

“It’s okay James. You can sit down. It's nice.” She said taking her seat.

Ruby popped her head in, ‘Good you’re out. If everyone could stay seated for a few minutes. We’ll be landing shortly.” she said, and winked at James before closing the door. He looked at Natasha with wide eyes and blushed. 

Once they landed, a car was waiting for Natasha. As she walked towards the black corvette a man on the tarmac handed her the keys. James stood there looking around, holding his Kevlar jacket in his hand. He took a step towards a service van parked near the hanger.

She raised her eyebrows at him. He definitely didn’t notice. He was still staring at the van. She also looked at the van, and the two cleaners who were hauling equipment from the van. One looked in his teens the other in his sixties, not Hydra’s typical operatives. 

She asked, “Are you going to get a job with Chip and Son cleaners?”

He looked at her confused “There is usually a van.” he said.

“For you?” she asked “Is the car not nice enough? ” He didn’t seem focused on her “Just hop in.” she said

“It's not tactical.” he said frowning.

“Get in” she ordered. She hoped he wasn’t trying to run. He looked confused.

“I have soot on my pants.” he protested.

“We can have Chip and Son clean it later.” This was getting weird. He actually stepped away when she came around and opened the door for him.

“I don’t ride in small cars.” He said taking another step back.

“Okay. I’ll get us another ride.” Too small, too trapped. That was something she could understand. She went over and asked Ruby if they had anything else, and Ruby volunteered the staff's car. He seemed to find the blue Ford Escape acceptable. As Ruby went to get the keys for the Escape, James went back to the Corvette. Now that he wasn’t riding in it, he seemed fascinated by it. 

“Is this yours? Can I park it? It needs to be moved right?” Now he was confusing her.

“Wait, you said you don’t ride in small cars?”

“I didn’t say I don’t drive small cars.”

This was the most interest he had shown in anything so far, and it was all about the car. He and Stark should get along fine. She walked back over to one of the flight crew, told them to thank Ruby for her time but they would be taking the Corvette.

When she walked back over, he was leaning into the driver side, checking out the gauges. “Get in.” she said to him again, tossing him the keys. His eyes lit up at that, and he slid into the driver seat. “Don’t break my steering wheel, Hercules.” she said, as he spun tires out of the airport. 

“This is nice.” he said. She gave him directions and held on for dear life. He drove fast, like he was in a race, and she kept reminding him to follow speed limits. He nodded, and slowed, but definitely liked to push the car to see what it could do. He was focused now. No more idle conversation, just him, the car, and the road. 

Once they hit the avengers parking garage, she said “Well, that was an experience.” And he followed her toward the elevator, walking backwards looking at the car.

“It handled well.” he said

“Glad you approve.” she replied, as the elevator doors closed, she held out her hand for the keys. He looked at her hand. “Keys” she said.

“In the car.” he answered sheepishly.

She stopped the elevator, and took them back to the parking garage. While getting her keys, she informed him that if he ever did that again, it would be the last time she ever let him drive. 

“Why do you need the keys? Doesn’t the whole building belong to Hyd…the Avengers?” He caught himself, but she heard his mistake. She knew that for him, Shield, Hydra, The Avengers, it was all the same. He had no frame of reference to differentiate them. He was a blank canvas with a deadly skill set.

When she stepped off of the elevator, Tony was joking with Pepper, and both froze and looked over. Tony set down his drink.

“Pepper, I think Happy is waiting for you downstairs.” He said, as he approached them.

She nodded and said “sure” and cleared out pretty quickly.

“Is this who I think this is?” he said to Natasha, looking Bucky up and down. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, this is Tony Stark.” She said, gesturing towards Tony.

Tony looked annoyed “Why didn’t you give us a little more warning to get the special guest room all done up nice.” 

“I don’t think he needs any special treatment Stark. He’s just a guest in need of a place to stay.” She smiled and walked over to the bar to fix them some drinks “Oh, and we need you to get the tracking device out of him.”

James just stood in the room near the elevator, as they talked about him. He was used to being talked about. He looked around at the big modern room while they discussed him. Tony walked up to him and looked him over. James was in his sweat stained t-shirt, and filthy, burned, torn tactical pants, he had his soot covered Kevlar Jacket in his hands. His face was relatively clean but unshaven, and he had a dirty bandage on his forehead. 

“Is that going to get infected?” Tony said pointing to the bandage. 

Natasha walked over and handed James a cranberry juice. He took it sipped and made a face. “Cranberry.” she said to answer his unspoken question. “Is that a good face or a bad face? Have a seat.” she said to James as she sat on the couch. 

James held up the glass and looked into it “It’s fine” he said heading for a chair.

Tony waved James away “No, no, that is too hard to clean. Sit on the metal chair. It wipes off.” He said herding James toward a chair that looked like a sculpture.

James looked dubiously at the chair, like he wasn’t sure how to sit on it. Instead, he sat on the couch next to Natasha, while Tony cringed. He dumped his coat on the floor, and sprawled out with his right hand draped over the back of the couch, behind Natasha.

“Has anyone contacted the ‘Star-Spangled One’ and told him he is busy barking up the wrong tree.” Tony asked, sitting in the leather chair across from them.

“I haven’t had time yet. You know, busy blowing things up, shooting stuff, worrying about Hydra tracking us down. The usual. ” She said with her feet on the coffee table. “Can you look into getting that thing out of him?”

Tony laughed “Which thing? He has like a half dozen different ‘things’ in him. They have all been jammed. Thanks for asking.” 

Natasha leaned forward to put her drink down, and glanced over at James’ dirty bandage on his forehead. Out of curiosity, she leaned over and pulled the bandage off. The area under it was crusty, and still bruised, but it looked like both the bump and cut were healed. She smiled at him, tossing the bandage on the coffee table by her feet. “looks good” she said to him. Super soldier healing was amazing. That blow from the wrench would have killed a normal person. He was unconscious thirty seconds tops, and now he’s fine.

“Tony, I think we need to get cleaned up. Are you going to get the Hydra trash out of him before or after?” Natasha said. When she said ‘Hydra trash’, James’ eyebrow went up, even though the rest of his face stayed blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, Steve will be in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony raised an eyebrow. “You want to know whether I want to work on his arm before or after you guys shower? Seriously? I could smell 'eau de industrial fire', the second you guys stepped out of the elevator.” Tony waved his hands in the air. “Also, he has burns on his pants, and I think the treads on his boots have melted.” Tony said pointing to James. “Don’t put your feet on the coffee table, burnt rubber is a pain to get off. I would know.”

“Okay, we get it. Shower first.” Natasha said. “We’ll be back in a half hour.” Then she stood and left for the elevator, with James following. 

In the elevator James pat some of the soot from his pants. “Do you have something for me to change into?”

“Sure. I know where to get some things.” She would have borrowed some of Steve’s clothes from his apartment in the Tower he was roughly more James’ size. But she didn’t know how he would react inside Steve‘s place, Tony’s people might have put up some personal photos, possibly with Bucky in them, when they decorated . She stopped at Clint’s apartment instead, and pulled out a pair of jeans, a tank top, underwear and socks. They might not fit well since Clint was about an inch shorter, but everything looked brand new, again the byproduct of Tony‘s people setting up the apartments. She handed them to James. “I guess that’s good. I don’t think his shoes are remotely the same size. What do you wear?” she asked bending down to look at the four boxes of brand new shoes in the closet.

“I wear a twelve. But, I think you forgot a shirt? I can’t put this one back on, it’s ripe.” he said with a sheepish smile.

“Well, Clint wears a ten and a half. That’s not going to help.” Then she straightened coming out of Clint’s closet. “Let me see, I thought I gave you a shirt.” She said as she moved to take the pile of clothes.

“Just an undershirt.” James said.

She went back to the hanging shirts in the closet, behind her she heard James add “With long sleeves, if you can.” 

She flipped past the short sleeve shirts and pulled out a grey, long sleeve, collared shirt. It seemed to meet his approval. He added it to his pile without comment.

Then she led him down to her apartment. In the front guest room there was a bathroom. She said “All yours.” Then went back to her bedroom. 

The décor in the apartment had a very modern flair with a lot of black and red. She didn’t decorate it, and didn’t care, as long as the water was hot. She rarely used it, usually only for a day or two at a time, but it was nice that Tony gave it to them. 

Natasha showered and changed quickly and efficiently, and when she came out James was already waiting in the living room. He was now clean shaven, and had his short dark hair neatly parted to the side. There was still a shiner around his right eye, but it was fading fast. The pale gray collared shirt was buttoned up and tucked into his jeans. He was looking out the window smoothing down his hair nervously, as he stood in the middle of the room waiting for her. She looked at him and realized that he looked exactly like a photo of Bucky Barnes. There were no visual traces of Winter Soldier on this man standing in his socks on her living room carpet. 

She remembered he was shoeless, and said “Jarvis, can I get some men’s size twelve shoes.”

“Certainly, Miss Romanoff, I can have them brought to the lab.” Jarvis replied.

“I guess we can head down to the lab.” She told James, as she headed for the door. 

Once in the lab, Tony was already waiting for them. 

While Tony took James into the lab and began examining the arm, Natasha downloaded and reviewed the files she took from the Hydra location. Her guess was right, in addition to manufacturing the drugs, the factory was assembling another chair right there with James in the facility. She had no doubts that as soon as the chair was complete, James would have been strapped in and all of his memories would have been wiped clean, ready to head into a cryogenic chamber. She did notice that a cryogenic chamber was actually being repaired and upgraded at another facility. It was also not yet fully functional, but once it was, it was to be moved to the facility Natasha just burned to the ground. 

While she was reading, she glanced over and saw a very patient James sitting on a table, while Tony rambled on about something and prodded James’ arm. Dum-E was standing by waiting to be told what to do, and Natasha was surprised at how well James seemed to be at having a complete stranger pull apart his arm. Within an hour Tony had located and removed the tracking devices and explosives.

Before she was done with the computer, Natasha wanted to make sure Steve was told about James’ arrival. She wasn’t surprised once she contacted him via text that he and Sam were already on the way. Tony had word sent to them, and they would be arriving soon. When she started to fill them in on the situation, it seemed Tony had done that too. She just warned Steve that James really did not seem to remember anything.

After she was done texting Steve, she worried that they needed specialists to help in this situation. This was uncharted territory. James needed an expert in memory recovery, and without SHIELD’s resources, finding one would be difficult.

Over an hour later, Steve was a bundle of nerves as he walked into the lab dressed in his civvies, khaki pants and a pale blue collared shirt. He didn’t want Bucky to think Steve thought of him as a threat. Sam said he would wait in the apartments, Bucky didn‘t need a crowd. Steve and Sam also worried that seeing Sam might bring up memories of the Helicarrier attack. Natasha seemed to think Bucky didn’t remember anything at all. Steve would have to see what that meant.

Bucky sat on a table in the lab with the inner workings of his arm exposed. He was wearing blue jeans and a white tank top, casually looking around the room and quietly listening, while Tony held a one sided conversation. He looked so much like the Bucky from before the war that it took Steve’s breath away. The Winter Soldier was like a machine, cold, hard, and calculating. This man with short brown hair, inquisitive eyes, and a big bruise over his temple was Bucky Barnes. 

Steve paused in the doorway, and Bucky’s eyes flickered over to him for a second, before going back to looking around the room. He didn’t remember Steve, and Steve’s heart sunk for a minute, before remembering that it didn’t matter. Bucky was safe, and whole, and sitting right in Tony’s lab. 

Suddenly Bucky looked up at Steve and smiled, Steve smiled back, then felt someone brush past him from behind. It was Natasha and she had four Starbucks coffees, and a bag of pastries. Bucky’s eyes followed her and the coffee, occasionally glancing back at Steve as he stood in the doorway trying not to feel like a third wheel. Natasha gave Bucky a coffee, and gestured to Steve to come in and get one too.

He came right up to Bucky and watched Tony work on the arm. Bucky took a few sips and looked up at Steve. Steve choked out an awkward “Hey.” Bucky blushed and looked down at his metal hand, pulling it towards himself a little while Tony grabbed it and told him not to move. Bucky suddenly seemed to be concentrating on his coffee. 

Steve realized he was making Bucky embarrassed of the metal arm. His awkwardness was making it worse, he kept trying to tell himself act cool. Act calm. Try not to come across weird. Then he fumbled his coffee and spilled some of it onto a tray of equipment.

Tony jumped up to throw a rag onto the small spill. “Jesus Rogers, careful with the coffee.”

Steve grabbed the rag, “Sorry Tony, I didn’t wreck anything did I?”

“No, just keep your paws out of the equipment. That is the disassembled headlight of a 53’ chevy coupe. It can take the coffee, just not your super soldier mitts mashing up the wire brackets.” Tony said while pulling off his goggles, physically taking the rag from Steve and cleaning up the coffee himself.

When most of the spill was dry, Tony turned, put his goggles back on and continued working on Bucky’s arm. 

Nearby, Natasha was sitting on a comfortable chair eating an apple. She gestured to a seat nearby. Steve backed away from Bucky and went to join Natasha. She leaned over and whispered “Stop hovering. Try to act less nervous, you’re getting everyone antsy.” Steve knew that by ‘everyone’ she meant Bucky. Steve was making Bucky nervous. His nervous energy was practically vibrating out of him. Steve tried to be inconspicuous as he took a slow calming breath. But Bucky’s eyes kept flickering to him. Bucky was trying to look like he wasn’t looking at Steve, but Steve could tell that any time he shifted or breathed funny, Bucky’s eyes were right back on him.

Steve knew that Bucky had been heavily medicated, and his memory was a mess. Natasha told him that the facility turned out to be specifically created about a month ago to get the Winter Soldier back to a useable state, and that meant memory wipes. They were in the process of building the machine right there. The cryogenic chambers were at other facilities, or new ones were being constructed somewhere. It made Steve livid at Hydra, and so relieved down to his bones that they found Bucky in time. He thanked god they found him before they used the machine to wipe him again, or froze him again in a metal tube to be stored away. Treated like an object they could toss aside until possibly years later when they wanted to use him again. He was nearly lost to Steve forever. He hoped as the drugs left Bucky’s system that his memories would start to resurface. He might get Bucky back after all.

Steve was alone with his thoughts while Tony monologues about the physical workings of some sort of machine he was developing. Steve didn’t follow what he was saying or even want to follow. Occasionally, he segued into the mechanics of Bucky’s arm, and Steve desperately wanted to understand that, but couldn’t follow any of it.

After a half hour of listening to Tony, Jarvis chimed in that Ms. Potts wanted to speak to him. Tony reached a stopping point, and said “let’s take a break.” Then he closed up Bucky’s arm and left to find Pepper. 

Natasha stood, and went to stand by Bucky “I don’t know about you two, But I could go for lunch.”

Bucky hopped off the table and gave Natasha a half smile and raised his eyebrows. “I get to drive again?” he said, while pulling on his pale gray shirt.

“Easy there Hotrod. I think we can walk.” she laughed, as Bucky buttoned his shirt.

Bucky scowled, looked at Steve and shrugged. Steve laughed, a good loud laugh that he surprised himself with. 

They all walked out of the lab and towards an elevator. Avengers Tower housed Tony’s lab, Stark Enterprises’ offices, apartments for each of the Avengers and at least three different restaurants. Tony liked good food, and decided he didn’t want to go far to get it. Also, it kept the employees happy, and Tony asked a lot of the people who worked for him. Steve had never been to the restaurants, but he knew they were there. On occasion, Steve actually listened to Tony when he explained things. Just, not the technical things. 

Natasha took them to a very nice restaurant. Steve realized she didn’t think Bucky was dangerous, she was bringing him right into a public area full of civilians. It made him disappointed in himself that Nat trusted Bucky more than Steve did. Steve still vividly remembered the Winter Soldier, and worried that this could go very wrong, very quickly.

Bucky paused outside the glass doors as he peered in. They both stopped and looked at him. Bucky started smoothing down his shirt, “Do we need coats and ties to go in there?” he asked.

Natasha smiled, “No, it’s not that formal.” she said.

Bucky and Steve exchanged looks, and Steve straightened his own shirt.

The inside was decorated in burgundy and gold with an amazing view. Tony’s aura could be felt in the modern decor. A lovely hostess with long silky dark hair and a sequined red dress approached. Bucky gave her a charming smile when she took them to their seats. 

As they took their seats, Bucky helped Natasha into her chair. Once seated, he tucked his left hand under the table. 

Steve knew they hadn’t exchanged names when he came in the lab, and now after an hour it just felt awkward. Natasha had briefed Steve before he got to the lab that Bucky didn’t remember anything, except how to pilot a plane, and shoot a gun. He wondered how Bucky felt, not remembering his past, not even his own name. 

When Bucky glanced down at the menu he blushed and pulled at his collar then leaned over to Natasha. He whispered “Are you sure about this?” His eyes nervously glancing over at Steve. “Is your buddy picking up the tab? We can go somewhere else.”

Natasha smiled and grabbed his hand, “This is Tony’s building. He can pick up the tab.”

Bucky did not intend for Steve to hear him. He hadn’t liked taking charity before, and it looked like he still didn‘t. Hydra clothed, fed and housed Bucky for years, but Steve doubted they took him to fancy restaurants. 

Steve knew what he wanted one minute after looking at the menu, and he knew what Bucky would want before that. Bucky wanted a rare steak and a potato. He would get it sometimes when they went somewhere fancy to celebrate. Afterward, he would talk about it for a week.

When the waitress returned, Steve ordered and then was disappointed but not surprised. Bucky ordered the cheapest thing on the menu and a water. He was definitely out of his comfort zone sitting in the restaurant. 

Natasha excelled at small talk, helping ease Bucky’s nervousness. Steve tried to join in, but just caught himself staring. Bucky caught him staring, then it became awkward again. At one point when Bucky looked down, Natasha actually scowled at Steve. 

Steve then decided that dancing around the issue was the problem. He wasn’t good at it. 

“So, Nat tells me you don’t remember anything.” Steve blurted out.

Bucky looked down and studied his water, embarrassed. Natasha kicked Steve under the table.

Steve however plowed on “How does that work? You remember how to eat, dress yourself, drive. I even hear you fly and are a good shot. But you don’t remember who you are? How far back do you remember?”

Natasha growled “Steve” low and angry, warning him to stop.

Bucky looked up at Natasha, before he blinked and looked over at Steve. “Your name is Steve?” He said tilting his head. When the moment of recognition hit, Bucky’s eyes widened. “Steve Rogers?” He said slowly, his eyes locked on Steve’s now.

Natasha’s body language changed, Steve could tell she was getting ready for a confrontation.

“Yes. Steve Rogers. Does that mean anything to you?” Steve said sitting forward.

“Steve Rogers is Captain America.” Bucky said, finger tips slowly moving across the table. He was now touching the bread knife on the table next to his right hand.

This wasn’t going as well as Steve hoped. Bucky’s face had morphed from uncomfortable, to a scowling frown, his eyebrows drawn together. Now Bucky and Natasha were mad at him. 

Bucky was the first to look away. His eyes went down to the table again, flickering back and forth, searching. Probably trying to search his own memories, or what pieces he had left.

Slowly, cautiously, Bucky ground out “Are you here to finish the fight?”

This wasn’t what Steve expected. “What?” he asked surprised.

“I ..I fought Captain America.” He said, then looked up. Looked Steve in the eyes. “We fought, but it was…unfinished” he said picking his words.

Steve looked at Bucky sadly and shook his head. “No Buck. Is that the only thing you remember? Us fighting?”

Bucky looked down at the table again, like he was trying to piece things together. “I don’t actually remember the fight on the highway. But, I saw it on the news. Someone left the TV on. I saw myself shooting on a street, and..the reporter said I fought Captain America… They said there was a manhunt…” Bucky seemed to have stalled, still looking at the tabletop while Steve stared at him. “Is that why you are here?” Bucky quietly added not looking up.

“No Buck. No one is here to hunt you. We just want help you.” Steve said. “You don’t remember anything else?”

“I worked for Senator Alexander Pierce. We were fighting the war on terrorism. They sent me on missions after terrorists who were endangering civilians inside the U.S. borders.” Bucky said firmly looking Steve in the eyes. “We were keeping the world safe.”

Steve’s face fell, “No Buck, Senator Pierce..”

Natasha jumped in kicking Steve in the shin again. “This may not be the time, Steve.” She looked at him with one eyebrow raised, . “We can talk politics later.”

Steve realized his mistake, he was about to start talking about Bucky working for Hydra right in the restaurant “Sorry. She’s right.” 

Steve wondered, did Bucky know that Pierce was Hydra? Did Bucky know that Hydra was bad? He didn’t want to start a fight.

Then he added “Sorry, Bucky. I guess you don‘t remember that we knew each other before. We grew up together.” Steve said.

Bucky kept looking at Steve. His eyes were searching Steve’s face, “ I remember a Helicarrier. On the helicarrier, you said something. I can’t remember, but afterwards…” He trailed off thinking hard. His eyes shifted and searched the table like he had lost something. “ I went to a museum. I missed extraction. They were angry. I went to a museum. I don’t remember… why I went…” He trailed off, staring at the table.

“It’s Okay, James.” Natasha said. “Don’t try to force the memories, I’m sure they will come on their own.”

Steve was concerned, Bucky kept looking at the table, he wasn’t making eye contact any more. “Yeah, Buck. You were on some drugs that might have made it hard to remember.” Steve agreed. He looked over at Natasha “It’s been a while since he was on them right?”

She said “Well, It has been over a day since his last dose, Steve. He took them every morning and evening. But, we don‘t know how long it will take to get out of his system.” she still looked angry “That doesn’t mean he will remember the past. It just means he can be allowed to remember the stuff he does today. We don‘t know what he will remember of his past.”

Bucky’s eyes kept sliding away, like he was used to people talking about him, and not to him.

“Well if that’s what we got, then it’s good enough. Okay Buck?” he said to Bucky who looked a little startled at being addressed. “Today’s not that bad. We can start form here.” he said. 

The waitress brought their lunches. This put their conversation on pause for a minute. After she had laid out all of the plates, Steve looked up at the waitress “Can I get us a medium rare rib-eye steak and loaded baked potato too, please.” 

She smiled “Certainly, I‘ll tell the chef immediately.”

“You going to eat two lunches, Rogers?” Natasha asked smiling.

“No. Bucky is. He looks like he could use it.” Steve replied.

“Whatever, It’s Tony’s dime.” Bucky shrugged, grabbing the bread. It looked like the tension had gone out of him.


End file.
